Get a Girlfriend - 3: Decent

Decent


You need to be a decent person: well groomed, well dressed, tidy, honest...

I really hope this is old news for you. Just so we are clear: brush your teeth, shower, wash your hair, shave, trim your fingernails, wear clean clothes, clean your room, have clean sheets, smell nice, hold the door, be polite, don't curse, don't lie, etc...

Live and let live! It is not exactly about minding your own business. It is about not preaching to other people on how you think they should live their lives. Don't impose your will on others.

Don't assume. Really, never ever assume anything. Assumption is the mother of all fuck-ups. Just ask and make sure you understood correctly.

Proud


Be proud of yourself. You have to have something in your life that you can be proud of. Have a hobby, do something that interests and excites you, something you are good at. Be passionate about your hobby. If you put a lot of time and effort into it and you have something to show for, then you can be proud of yourself.
  • Learn a new language (German, Chinese, Japanese).
  • Learn a programming language (C++, C#, ASP.NET, JavaScript, CSS, HTML).
  • Start doing a sport seriously (mountain-biking, snow-boarding, wind-surfing, aikido, tai qi quan).
  • Learn to dance (salsa, bachata, chacha, kizomba, zouk, swing).
  • Learn to paint or draw portraits or manga.
  • Start writing poetry or a novel or manga.
  • Learn to whistle loudly.
  • Learn touch-typing.
  • Learn to walk on hands.
  • Learn to cook.
Read a book. Read lost of books. It makes you interesting to talk to.

Good looking?


Outer appearance is not as important as personality, but it never hurts to look good. If nothing else, women like a man when a suit becomes him. That will (unfortunately for some of us) happen only when you have the right figure.

First off: never ever go on a diet - every change you make needs to be permanent. It does not need to be a fast change, it does not need to be a large change, but it needs to be a permanent change. If you go on a diet, you make a fast, large change compared to what your body is used to. Your body will go into shock, its survival mechanism will kick in. It will treat the diet as any animal treats a hunger period, a natural disaster. It will wait for the "drought" to end. As soon as you finish with your diet, it will start stockpiling reserves to prepare for the next potential hunger period. You will gain all the weight you lost and then some... A small, gradual change will get you the wanted results.

To lose weight:
  • eat five meals a day, breakfast should be the largest, dinner the smallest
  • drink five glasses of water a day
  • don't eat anything that obviously has sugar or fat in it - no chocolate, no cookies, no sweets, no party snacks, nothing fried in oil, etc... (you do need fat and sugar in your diet and you will get enough from eating other food)
  • go running for one hour, every day, for the rest of your life
To gain muscles:
  • eat five meals a day, breakfast should be the largest, dinner the smallest
  • drink five glasses of water a day
  • eat something small, but rich in protein right (15 minutes) before you go to sleep, so that your muscles don't eat themselves while you sleep
  • first do some warm up exercises, then do 50 squats, 50 crunches and 50 push-ups every morning, right after you wake up, every day, for the rest of your life
What about gym?

You don't need to go to gym. It can be a hobby (an expensive one), but you don't need to go. Ever.
Running is absolutely the best way to lose weight and if you really want to gain lost of muscles, simple calisthenics will get you the best results: lunge, jumping jack, sit-up, crunch, push-up, pull-up, squat, calf raise, dip, flutter kick, plank - these body weight exercises are everything you will ever need. Drink a protein shake or eat a protein bar after you exercise.

I repeat: outer appearance is not as important as personality! Don't think that you will get (and keep) a decent girlfriend just by having a great body and nice abs.